From Barbara Stankowski in Manila
When we came to Manila in 2018, we had no clear ideas in mind about our future ministry. We were open to whatever God will call us to do. Nevertheless, I had one deep longing in my heart: to start a mother’s gathering. After one year, I felt more and more safe in language and culture. I also knew quite a lot of mothers. But I did not know how to start this kind of group.
Then the pandemic came. Schools in the Philippines have been closed since March 2020 – an immense education crisis! Millions of children struggle with distance learning. So, my husband and I started a literacy program together with some women from the community. The women teach kids from poor families daily and it is exciting to see the progress of the children in the program and the relationship between students and their teachers.
I am very thankul for this ministry, but there was still this longing for a mother’s group, and I still did not know how to start it in a good way. One day, some mothers came to me and shared their plan to start a weekly gathering. A time just for women – no kids, no husbands. I was full of joy: we will have a women’s group! And it was not me who started it but the women themselves! I could just join and be a part of it. So, we started to meet every Friday in the house of one woman. We are 10-15 women and the meeting is always a highlight of my week. The stories of the women are typical for women in the Philippines.
Trudis* and her husband earn money by cooking and selling spring rolls. Trudis is a very gifted woman and dreamt of becoming a teacher when she was a child, but she had to earn money and dropped out of school after Grade 6. Today she is a wonderful mother of three children and a key person in our ministry because she knows a lot of people and their needs in our area.
Julia* is mother of 8 children, aged between 4 and 18 years old. The family lives in a very small house. Her husband only has work from time to time. She sells food for some extra income. All her children have to study at home (online or with printed materials) which is really challenging. Julia is doing an amazing job. I am often very challenged with only two children…
Samantha* is 35 years old, mother of two and already a widow. Her husband died a year ago after a minor stroke. He received almost no help in the public hospital. We were all deeply shocked by his death. Now Samantha not only has to take care of the children but also the income, but she doesn’t give up and it is amazing how she fought her way back to life after the death of her husband.
Lisa* is single. For the past 17 years, she has been lovingly taking care of her severely disabled niece day and night. Besides that, she teaches children from the neighborhood in our literacy program. She recently said that she is very happy with her life and wished for nothing else. Her dedication touches me deeply.
Mara* is a single mother of a 6-year-old boy. Together with her son and her boyfriend, she lives in a small room that is not only cramped but also incredibly hot during the day.
Vanessa* lives with her family in a small, shabby shack. A year ago, Vanessa became seriously ill. We feared for her life and were glad when she finally got the right medical care. We are very grateful that she is healthy again today and able to teach in the literacy program.
Many women’s stories in the Philippines sound similar. Even before the pandemic, the life of many women was not easy. But the pandemic has made things even more difficult. Their days are long and exhausting. The mothers are often not only responsible for rising the children and household, they also earn some extra money. Since the schools have been closed, they are now also responsible for school education. Most of the children only get printed materials from school that they have to work on themselves. For many mothers, this is a terrible additional burden. Our women’s gatherings are therefore a welcome break to rest from the exhausting daily life.
The Friday gatherings are very simple. We start every meeting with a sharing about what we thank God for and also about difficulties we face. Many tears are shed while sharing about daily challenges. The openness of the women touches me. It is good to speak out your own challenges and needs, to share them with one another and then to pray together. In addition to sharing and prayer, games or even Zumba are also part of our meetings. A lot is spontaneous and there is a lot of space for those things that are important at that moment.
For me, these afternoons are holy moments. There is so much power in community and in sharing joy and sorrow. Much has been taken away from these women by the pandemic: income, education for their children, the opportunity to visit their family in the provinces and some even lost family members. But these women will not let themselves be taken away from the community. It fills me with gratitude to be part of this community. These women made me realize again that relationships are what ultimately counts in life. God created us as relational beings. Relationships are growing wherever we laugh, cry and share life together. And these relationships will carry us through times of crisis. So, we continue to meet every Friday to celebrate community and to journey with each other through good and challenging times.
(*all names have been changed)
