Contributed by Yusuf
I wrote several months ago about the impact of the Covid pandemic, and the Government’s response to it, on the lives of the urban poor. This time I write from isolation – having just tested positive for Covid myself last week! It has turned out to be a bit of a blessing in disguise, as isolation has provided a time and space for rest and reflection which is otherwise often lacking in my hectic schedule. These are three of the lessons I’m learning from the experience.
1. I am privileged.
I am privileged in a whole host of ways, but am often blissfully unaware of it. It’s uncomfortable to acknowledge this privilege, but sometimes – as in the past week – it becomes painfully obvious.
I can treat my time of isolation as a holiday – watching movies, playing chess, and writing articles like this one. This is because I am young and healthy, blessed with only very mild symptoms. In contrast, many people who are older or have pre-existing health conditions are struggling with severe symptoms, ongoing effects, and even death.
I’m privileged too because I can stay by myself in the house of a friend who’s back in America – how many others have friends who can offer them such a huge gift? Instead, many people with Covid are forced to try to isolate even while there are many people around them – particularly in India, where large families share a single room, proper isolation is impossible.
And of course I’m privileged economically, to not have to worry about finances. In contrast, for most of my friends here in the slum missing out on a couple weeks’ income is calamitous. Even in the well-off west, one factor that emerged early in the pandemic was that many low-wage vulnerable workers were trying to hold down multiple casual jobs – and in so doing, increasing the risk of spreading the virus.
It’s true that the pandemic has shaken the whole world – that even the rich, like us, have been impacted. This common experience gives us the opportunity for empathy across class and geography. But we should be cognisant of the way our privileges reduce the pandemic to an inconvenience for us – while it’s life-threatening for others.
2. I am not in control.
I love to feel in control of my life – to make plans, to have agency. Yet sometimes this illusion is stripped away by events clearly outside my control.
On April 2nd, India had some 90,000 new Covid cases – and I was one of them! In the space of a week, that has shot up to 130,000 new cases per day. When I entered isolation, not many were talking about Covid. Now the government is ringing the alarm bells as the second wave surges, and everyone is speculating worriedly about more lockdowns. I started isolation making plans for what I would do as soon as I was ‘free’ again. But now it seems likely that the rules will tighten and change, throwing any plans into jeopardy.
After I felt recovered from symptoms, I had another Covid test, expecting to get a negative result and be able to resume some of the activities of normal life. But 72 hours later I’m still waiting for the result; yesterday I found out the reason for the delay – some of the staff in the testing lab had come down with Covid themselves. In times as uncertain and unpredictable as these, making plans for tomorrow is difficult – let alone next week or next year!
It’s time to humbly accept: I’m not in control, but thankfully, God is! As we relinquish the illusion of control over the future, we’re left to accept and trust Jesus’ words: ‘let tomorrow worry about itself, for each day has enough worry of its own.’ (Mt 6:34). Or, as James reminds us, ‘Do not say “Tomorrow we shall go to a city, trade there for a year and make money…” You do not even know about tomorrow – you are like a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.’
3. The world goes on without me.
It’s easy for me to feel important – I’m consistently busy in responding to people’s needs, and often feel that I’m making at least a small difference in many people’s lives. But as I answer call after call, with the same response – “Sorry, I can’t come – I’m isolating due to Covid” – I’m left to realise the truth that the world goes on without me.
One of the people I have helped extensively over the past months required surgery this week – and they navigated the medical system to get it done themselves, without any assistance from me! My room-mate, who thankfully tested negative for Covid, was also able to keep up various aspects of our work and ministry.
While I will dive back into work once I leave isolation, I hope to take this lesson with me: it is wonderful to be used by God to further his Kingdom, but I am by no means the only tool in his toolkit! This truth is simultaneously humbling and liberating – it both helps save me from the dangers of egotism, and gives me the permission to take time off to care for myself.
In a strange way, I’m grateful for having had Covid, because of the truths I’m learning through the experience. I’m becoming aware of my own privilege – to be able to isolate in comfort, without worrying about finances. I’m also learning to accept my lack of control over the future – and celebrate that God has it under control, though his ways are mysterious to me! I’m also realising the way the world continues without me – that people (and God) are not dependent on me, and that’s a very good thing!
Well, God, I think that’ s enough lessons for one illness. Can I please get my negative result now? 🙂
What lessons have you learnt from times of illness, or from the Covid pandemic? I look forward to hearing in the comments below.
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